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Star Wars Fans Take a Hit…



Posted by Steve

In June of 2007, right during the heart of the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, a project aired on the History Channel that peeled back the layers of storytelling in the Star Wars saga.  The special explored the link between Star Wars and classic mythology.  It showed the depth and richness of every facet of the films and hopefully opened the eyes of some to allow them to see how deep, intricate, and intelligent the films are.

I actually had some good conversations with non-Star Wars fans who were friends of mine after they saw that special.

Then there’s the airing of shows like Star Wars tech and the science of Star Wars, where intelligent, educated people talk about the real possibilities of the technology and science in the Star Wars universe and what it would take to make the imagination of George Lucas truly come to life.

Projects like these, and charity events sponsored by the people of the fighting 501st have, over the past few years, really helped to shed a good light on us Star Wars fans.

Then American Idol aired last night. 

If you didn’t see it, then you missed a couple of people who set out with a mission…and accomplished it.

The mission?  Give the general public yet another reason to point and laugh at Star Wars fans.

Let’s begin with the young lady who wore fish net stockings, a Star Wars belt buckle and Princess Leia Cinnabon-esque hair puffs. (Which were fake by the way.)

I think it’s great that she was proudly displaying her love of the Star Wars saga.  I think it was bold for her to (at the time she was actually there) potentially go on national television embracing one of the greatest things about geek culture.  However, I’d like to, in hind sight, offer a few suggestions:

1.  Your real hair?  Long enough to do the little bun things for real if you’d take the time.  This would have prevented you from giving America the moment where you rip off the fake hair pieces and hand them one by one to your grandfather who was attempting to console you and suddenly found himself holding fake hair.  I didn’t want to laugh…but I had to.  As one came off and the other goes and there’s good old Grandad sitting there with this hair looking like, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

2.  The ranting and raving?  Didn’t help your cause at all.  You set out to prove that we geeks (you called us dorks…at which I take offense.  Look up the word dork…we aren’t dorks) aren’t total losers.  The minute you made excuses for your audition going poorly, guess what princess…you looked like a loser.

I don’t intend to be harsh, but spoken like a true geek she said, “They don’t want unique.  They need a new look.”  No…No they don’t.  The show’s been pretty successful for what is now it’s 7th year without the unique look.  Actually, I’ve seen some pretty plain jane people make it to Hollywood and beyond based on their TALENT!!!

3.  It was Celebration 4…not “The 30th Anniversary Celebration at the Los Angeles Convention Center in LA. Duh.”  How ’bout for all the people who aren’t in the know just call it the biggest Star Wars convention in the nation?  They know what you’re talking about.

4.  Finally, you have potential with your singing…get some voice lessons, learn to talk to people without making them scared of you, and lose the Star Wars belt buckle…unless you’re at Celebration 5.  Who knows, do those things and next year you could take your unique look to Hollywood and get your picture taken with that Chewbacca guy who attacked Elmo.

Aside for Leia-girl we were treated to a guy who knew what he was doing when he showed up for his audition in a cloak that stretched from his neck to the floor covering up a Leia slave bikini outfit that HE was wearing. This wasn’t a man confused about his sexuality, or attempting to be a cross-dresser.  This guy wanted to get on TV and make an impact.  And he did.  He bellyflopped Star Wars fans right out of the gene pool with that thing.

Not only did he disrobe once, at Paula’s behest he went and got his chest waxed came back again and almost got to do his little marching routine to “Dontcha.” 

I got the joke dude, but couldn’t you have done a Uhura outfit or something.  Might not have been as nasty, but at least we could have laughed at the Trekkies…heh heh heh Trekkies are losers.

Oh, and by the way, you do much plumbing?  Because you were sporting that buttcrack like a pro, sir.

I would like to offer a suggestion to both of you.  Before you ever go out in public again, please check out my free service to geeks everywhere in a little blog I call How to Be a Geek in Public and Still Have Friends. It may help.

I just want to speak on behalf of the Star Wars fans out there.  We aren’t all like that.  We know our place.   We are cooler than the general public, but we realize that the general public isn’t ready to accept that yet.   So, we’ll keep to our conventions and blogs and do our best to fit in to the outside world.  Waiting. Watching. Until that day when the Force is with us all.

2 Responses to “Star Wars Fans Take a Hit…”

  1. Marcus Says:

    From a guy who is a card-carrying Darth Vader in the 501st, let me say “amen”, Big Honkin. “Amen”. That was hurtful to watch, and I don’t just mean Slave Leo getting depliated. So, did the Leia girl live in her grandparents’ basement? And, if so, does that count? If not, it should.

    I think she should be reminded the show is called American Idol, not American Geek Chick Who Can’t Sing and Wants To Make Excuses For It By Hiding Behind Her Devotion To Star Wars.

  2. Owen Says:

    Star Wars items like Masks, belts and Star Wars Costumes are there in Eastern Toys at reasonable prices and higher quality. Have money to do shopping then the right place is Eastern Toys for Star Wars Costumes.

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